There’s been so much again, that’s happened lately, yet I could never bring myself to type about it unless I can’t get it off my mind by some other way.. The scene is that Thursday was my graduation day out of high school, but it was also my one year mark since being with my girlfriend. On Monday, my mom randomly tells me that she wants to go to my graduation, then she begins to yell at me for not telling her when it was, and a whole bunch of other bs. I tell her that I didn’t tell her because she probably didn’t want to go to it anyway since she’s never been to my performances for Homecoming, Battle, VSU, Choir, etc. but then she starts to change the subject again. I then tell her that I have tickets, and that I’m giving her one, but then she says that she needs two because my six year old sister wants to go as well. When I tell her that it’s for my girlfriend, she begins to lash out on me, asking questions like, “why do you always bring her everywhere,” and, “why does she always have to be next to you,” or, “your family comes first before she does.” Next thing I know, she begins to talk about how my brother was so much better, when he was the one who yells Fuck you straight to her face and talks crap about her religion. I didn’t want to deal with it anymore so I go upstairs.

On Wednesday, the day before graduation, she begins to yell at me to go get my gown so she can iron it. I decide to bring up the times of the graduation ceremony, so then she would know when to wake and get ready, which would be at 9:00AM for me, and 10:00AM for her. I ask her to drive me along, since I now know that she’s going, and she tells me no, because she doesn’t want to wake up that early and do nothing for an hour. And so I began to ask around for those who could’ve drove me to San Jose State University the next day. Luckily I found a ride from a friend, and I was excited to see my friends for possibly the last day in my life, and reconnect with old ones who came to watch.

That morning, I wake up early and get ready and my girlfriend comes over to get the ride as well. My mom then wakes up about 20 minutes before I leave and starts to iron the gown while saying that I probably took it out this morning because she didn’t see it last night. When my friend shows up at the door to drive me, she refers to him as, “this guy,” and starts talking to me in a disgusted voice as if she hated him just because he was driving me. I ignore it and get in the car, and we all start heading down to SJSU. On the way, I call my mom once more to remind her, and she confirms it. 
When the ceremony started and we walked in, I kept looking around, but didn’t see any sign of my girlfriend, friends, or my mom and sister. But as the ceremony went on, it got to the point where it was my turn to go up and receive the diploma case thing, and I see my girlfriend on the side taking pictures of me and cheering me on. When I get closer, she tells me that my mom isn’t even there yet. She wasn’t even going to see me walk across the stage. I was saddened, but I still hid my smile throughout the rest of the ceremony. But as the last group of students walk up, a bundle of leis start to come down the row for me, so I knew that she came way too late. When I get out, I see my girlfriend and my sister waiting for me, and my mom wasn’t even there. We celebrate a little bit and begin to walk out. My mom eventually finds us and starts making us pose for pictures and such. The only time I got to myself to take pictures with friends was because they happened to walk by.I couldn’t even see my friends one last time. The very last time before we all split off in different directions, and I couldn’t even get a last photo with most of them. Especially my best friend who I wanted to see one last time. But no. We had to leave. I tried to stall and look for my friends.. See if anybody wanted to go out and eat so I could at least celebrate my graduation.. I couldn’t find anyone. I felt like it wasn’t even my graduation anymore because my mom would be pressuring me to leave the entire time. About 5 minutes after the ceremony, we left. I didn’t argue with her.
I cried the entire trip home. I couldn’t see my friends one last time. I would have no lasting memory of them. I wouldn’t be able to eat out with them one last time. I wouldn’t be able to spend that last day of high school as high schooler. I wouldn’t even be able to actually graduate from high school. I hid it from her and my sister, but my girlfriend easily saw me breaking down and she cried the entire trip with me.
We got back to my house, and then my mom left soon after so that I could take care of my sister again. I kept crying on girlfriend’s lap. I felt like a little kid who was betrayed. It could’ve been the worst day of my life. But then my girlfriend reminded me. It was exactly one year since we’ve been together. She talked and talked to me. She raised my spirits up and somehow made me smile again. She convinced me to be happy, and to stay strong. If it wasn’t for her, I would have probably been in my room crying alone for the rest of what should have been one of the happiest days of my life. The rest of the day sort of flew by. One of my friends came over and hung out, and the night came. I slept happy that night.

After walking and searching for 3 hours, I couldn’t find you Leo. Where did you go? Did someone take you? I feel so guilty for losing you. If I never wanted to go inside blockbuster this never would’ve happened.. I’m sure that we lost you in there.. The lady this morning wouldn’t let me watch the security camera videos, and that’s reasonable, but if she did, we could know what happened to you.. I just want to know.. I want to know that you’re not out on the street, or being picked up by some homeless guy, or being stolen by some person who wanted to give you to their kid.. It frightens me.. but most of all it makes me so depressed and sad that I lost you.. Forever..

Leo… It hasn’t even been 12 hours and I already miss you.. I feel so sad now„ I keep thinking that you’re right next to me when I wake up, but you’re not. It was even my turn to take you home that night.. I’m so sorry Leo..

I feel so terrible.. Today was going so fine and perfect until we had to leave the library.. I still can’t believe that we lost Leo today.. I’m pretty sure I remember clearly that we left while holding him, and that we had him when we went into blockbuster. I had a clear picture in my mind of her holding a box with both hands, so we lost him sometime before she picked up the box, and I know that she only had her backpack on one arm before we even got into the store. I’m sure it happened during the time I called Everett because that was when she went off to the side to look at candy, and I remember her holding one of the giant pixie sticks with both hands. But even so, when I went back Leo was missing. Who would take Leo? He’s just a stuffed lion with a cheap homemade scarf and a few mardi gras beads around his leg, at least to other people.. To us, he’s turned into something so much more than just a toy. He was the one I bought during christmas time 3 years ago. He was the one who became her first birthday present. He was the one who would be dragged along with us everywhere. The one who lost his first blue scarf and had a replacement of an even cheaper white one. The one with the messed up fur on his right foreleg because of the beads  being wrapped around his leg for so long. The one with the little bump on the top of his head that you can press down and fix. He’s become somewhat of a child for us, and now he’s gone forever. I don’t know why I take this so seriously, but now I can’t even stop tears from coming out, knowing that I’ll never see him again. I can pray to God all I want, but I don’t think even that can help me find him.. I feel so hurt and damaged.. all over a stuffed lion. It’s weird how much something means to you once you lose it.. because you’ll never know how much you’ll cry until it’s gone.

Got all my stuff together on time, but ended up leaving late again.. I had to ask my mom to drive me to school so I could make it on time to get my girlfriend her Valentine’s day gift. It’s too hard to run 1.2 miles with a 3.5ft tall teddy bear.. Anyways I was happy that she loved it so much, and I loved the chocolates she gave me too [: Even though I made it with her since she couldn’t use the kitchen at home.. haha.. She was practically hugging the teddy bear all day during school until she gave it up to my sister to play with after school.

We went to the doctor’s today after picking up my sister, and on the way, Don’t Speak, came up on the radio and so much throwback happened. The song was pretty much stuck in my head the whole day haha. When I think about it, it was a pretty sad song to be playing on Vday.. Anyways, the appointment was a good checkup I guess. Nothing too serious, and I’m glad I cleared up a lot of issues. It’s a bit sad to know that it’s my last checkup with the pediatrician/doctor who has been checking up with me all my life.

After that, we got dropped off at Eastridge and we decided to go make a reservation at Tomi’s for tonight’s dinner that we planned since January. Sadly, dinner was 19.95+tax, and I only brought 40, so we decided not to, and to find something cheaper. Then we go to F.Y.E and girlfriend starts reading a magazine for about an hour. After, she feels guilty and starts to feel sad and stuff and tells me to go away and leave her alone since she “ruined Valentine’s day.” I cheered her up though, and we were back to our normal selves [: And so we walk around stores talking about random stuff like how guy clothing is never as nice as girl clothing.

When it gets to about 6:30PM, we decide to head over to Chile’s, but the moment we got in, the whole restaurant was filled with people, and there were even some people waiting outside. Next up was Macaroni Grill, but that was a 30minute wait list, including the time to make the food, leaving about 30 minutes to eat. Sad and defeated, I apologized, and we went over to the food court and decided to eat there. We weren’t sure of what to get, but we wanted to try something new for Valentine’s day, so it wasn’t Great Khan’s (especially since we ate that last time we were there). We ended up getting Sbarros Italian food. We got the Spaghetti since it was the most dinner-like thing on the menu; compared to pizzas and rolled up pizzas(forgot the name), and amazingly, I was bloated and actually became really full.

It was about 7:30PM and we were done talking for a bit and started walking around the mall until I pulled her into Daiso. I started looking at the cell phone charms, and we decided on getting matching apple phone charms that you can use to wipe smudges off your screen [: Before we went to go pay, we saw a couple of fountain pens, and since we never used them before, we bought one each, and a couple of black ink cartridges for when we run out of red.

It was 8:08PM and I was freaking out since I was supposed to call my mom at 8PM. Luckily she wasn’t mad, but she said she was now leaving to go pick us up. Seeing that we had spare time, we decided to go try out our new pens. We didn’t expect it to take twenty minutes to find out how to use them… Freaked out again, I call my mom to make sure she didn’t pass us, and she tells me that she’s now leaving the house x.x so we decide to finish up writing little notes to each other on the apple charms and we go out to wait for her to pick us up. And I’ll just stop there because I’m too lazy.

Hi Darren I hope you stop reading my blog now and forever :D

My day just got ruined by my inconsiderate asshole of a brother.

I finished preparing my Valentine’s day gift for my girlfriend, and went out to show my eldest brother. Next thing I know, the other brother who’s a little prick tells me to go give back my girlfriend’s birthday present to him.

Holy shit, I was so pissed off at him at the time, all I thought about was not making my girlfriend cry, so I told him that to go throw it away, and if he doesn’t want it, neither will my girlfriend,. He tells me that he doesn’t like the idea of wasting things, so I tell him to give it to me and I’ll throw it away for him. Then he goes silent and goes back to playing his game.

After thinking about it, I tell him to just give it to me and I’ll keep it since he doesn’t even want it and she spent half of her month’s allowance on it. I’d rather keep it myself than have her feelings hurt and money wasted by this bitch. Then he tells me no, and when I ask why, he said he’d rather keep it than have her money wasted on me. What the fuck? You’re the little asshole who said that you wanted it returned, and whether or not you like it, she already wasted the money by giving it to you. And wasted on me? Bitch please, she already “wasted” a lot more money on me than you.

I get so pissed off that I go back to cleaning up my desk, and a while later I tell him to give me back the gift so I can return it to my girlfriend. Honestly, I don’t even want this prick in my life, and I definitely don’t want him having anything that my girlfriend actually put thought into buying for him. Especially since he’s being a little douchebag about it. He then tells me to just drop it and that he wants to keep it after all of this talking about how he wanted to give it back to her. The fuckkk? 

Holy shit.. I can not even believe how fucking annoying and insensitive this bastard is. It’s like he thinks that keeping it will make him look better to me or my girlfriend when in reality he doesn’t even fucking want it. And now he doesn’t even want to return it because he says that it’d be a waste on me? I can’t even fucking believe how much this ruined my night. The whole day I spent having a good time with my girlfriend, and now I have to end it with this bullshit I get from that asshole.

I don’t really know what to say.. When you’ve just escaped from a close encounter with being mugged, it really leaves you a bit speechless.. I feel like my mind is so messed up right now, everything is scrambled, and I’m just confused.. I can’t stop thinking about what just happened.. So much for a detailed description.. My head hurts now..

——10:16PM——

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRBg9OZ84N4

Holy shit, that was amusing, but time consuming as hell. I really had not had a trolling that good since Dary- I mean Dexter. Internet beef is always so fun, especially when its with a cocky internet dumbass specifically named K_____n. Then he sent his bitches after me I_____e and J_____e. After they were debatically pwnd, an anon stepped in and tried to be a hero, but failed just as hard as that Jason Ta guy who tried to “end things” with Dary- I mean Dexter.

Oh tumblr, how I neglected you for so long after so many events I was so reluctant to type up.. Yesterday was spent cleaning all morning at future sister in-law’s house. I was kinda surprised when she started calling me by my nickname.. I had a feeling that everyone in that house was starting to get used to me and treating me like actual family [: She told me that if we helped her clean the garage, then she would give us tons of money on new year’s haha.. After that, we went to Thien’s welcome back party from the marines. Played Mario Party 3 with the girlfriend, roasted marshmellows, and fed leaves to the fire to make so firecrackers. :D Today was a lot better though. Woke early to get ready and help clean up the mess from yesterday and get ready for the beach! Woke up at 5:20, and left around 6:30. After cleaning up, we went to go pick up the girlfriend and her sister, then we came back and watched Russel Peters to pass the time until his parents came back with some food to bring to the beach. Next was picking up Bonny, Matthew, and Denny (I think), and then the beach! Did a lot of stuff at the beach too.. sleep on the way there, rip a bag on accident and spill lingerie, awkwardly carry it all down to our site, run into the ocean with the girlfriend, start the fire pit, dig a hole, make a mini-pool, find a dead jellyfish, break our couple’s necklace (*sniff*), eat, sleep around in the tent, tan, 10 fingers, run into the waves and die, get recorded, do recording, start a bonfire, roast marshmellows, race to the ocean, play tag, race back, heat up next to the fire, take a walk on the beach with the girlfriend, slow dance with her on the shoreline, run back, hadouken, douse the fire, make indian smoke signals, pack up, leave, sleep again. After we got back, I showered with the girlfriend (bathing suits included),watched Idiocracy, and now I’m back at home, somewhat warm and cozy. [:

I noticed that I type these really late at night, and usually the day after..

Started the day late again (7:45AM), and had to eat parts of the gingerbread house for a small breakfast. Mom dropped me off in choir, and luckily I was just in time for the test. Then came the singing portion, in which the majority of the class did wonderfully. I got a 90% for that o: After school, me and the girlfriend decided to wait for Andrew at the library. We tried watching Panty and Stocking, but we gave up and I ended up teaching her how to play mine sweeper. After a few hours, we switched to boxhead 2play, and after a few more hours, we packed up and left for starbucks. As we walked out, we saw Andrew sitting at one of the tables, but it was ok since we couldn’t really contact anyway. And so we played a hacked boxhead 2play version. Then it started to rain and I hurried her back home, and she gave to me an umbrella to keep me dry.. Love you [: Oh and no Precalc hw!!! :D so sleepy..